"Tell the world, I'm coming home."

I think the title says it all. It's from one of my recently favorite songs by artist J. Cole and as soon as I heard it about a month ago, my heart nearly split into two different directions.

Tomorrow I leave Durban and fly to Mozambique for one last African adventure. Then in one week, I board my long, much-awaited flight back to New York City.

On the one hand, I'm more unbelievably excited than words can express to be going home. I miss America and the people in it. Yes, even the crazies, the bums and the Republicans.* I miss fast-speed internet and banks that close at 5 PM rather than 3. I miss Chipotle burritos, Pinkberry yogurt and Checkers fries. I miss my homes. Yes, homes plural. I miss Florida, Boston, New York...I've often joked to people back home that I will be liable to hug a subway pole the first time I ride a train again because I EVEN miss the subway. If I see a rat scurrying around down by the tracks or even (as has been known to happen in my fair neighborhood of Washington Heights) just lounging on the platform waiting with the rest of us, I may even turn to it and say, "Nasty, disgusting rat with a tail longer than my arm, I've even missed you."

Most importantly, I've missed my PEOPLES. You all know who you are because if you're reading this, then you're probably who I'm referring to. (At least I hope... have never prior to now considered the possibility of a complete stranger reading my blog. Hm. Interesting. If that category fits you....nice to sort of meet you?)

In any case, yes, I miss YOU. Because all the rest, eh I can live without. I can live without the terrible and wonderful fast food, the homes I grew up in...I can most definitely live without that rat, no matter how sentimental I get. South Africa even taught me that I can live without reliable internet! (To a point...)But you guys.... you're who I cannot live without.

Which brings me to explain why my heart felt like it was being torn in two when I heard the J. Cole song. Because while I definitely feel like I'm coming home, until now, I've never quite known what it's like to leave a piece of my heart behind...to use a terribly cliched statement.

And I most definitely will be leaving a piece of my heart, and in fact, myself here. Durban, South Africa has seen me grow as a doctor, as a caregiver and as a person. This city and the people in it have treated me with kindness beyond words and I will never, ever forget them. Durban now feels like one of my homes and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

Maybe everyone here can see that. Because people have been asking me not if I'm coming back but WHEN I'm coming back. I'm glad they ask it that way. Because while I cannot give a definite time (I've started saying, 'Sometime in the next 5 years? I promise.') I can definitely, DEFINITELY say that I will be back.

But for now... United States of America, land of the free Starbucks internet, home of the brave furry creatures who deign to scurry on rather than below platforms, here I come.

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* Just kidding! There are many Republicans whom I leave dearly. :)